What's in a name?
on languages, effort and identity. plus information about a postcard swap and a special option for those who only want to receive postcards!
Josh and I shared a quizzical look, before staring at his mom again. “Since when do you call her Vedu?”, he asked, “even I don’t call her that!” She shrugged, not having an answer probably having picked it up from my family. When we were driving back later, the traffic on the ever-shitty Ghodbunder roads found me stuck on this incident. A very neat and organised table in my head assigned people to what they’re allowed to call me based on how & how long they know me.
There’s logic to everything, you know. My dad’s Marathi shortens things with an “aa” sound, and my mom’s Hindi & Punjabi shorten things with an “oo” sound. People who have known me since I was a child can call me Vedu or Veda. I tried to be cool and western in boarding school, so I tried to adopt Veds. But after all my trials and errors, I settled on Vedi. And my full name Vedanti is, of course, reserved for official purposes and if I’m in trouble.
Why did I try to change my name?
Perhaps it’s because my first bully was my oldest cousin Krish who said my name was an amalgamation of the words vedi (crazy, in Marathi) and aunty. Crying and stomping, I charged at my mom who told me the reality - my name meant the person who knows the Vedas till the end aka someone very knowledgeable. That calmed me down, before I asked her, “but mama, what are the Vedas?”
We mostly have unique names in our family. Perhaps my parents felt moved to give us an identity that stood out because their own names - whilst beautiful - were rather common. I laugh at my younger self now who hated them for it. My name was SO different! I had to spell it out to everyone, people assumed I was Vedika, and had to keep answering - ‘but what does that mean?’ Couldn’t I have a simple name like Simran or Anjali? No one forgets names like that!
“Vedanti Shinde - gold medal for 100 mts sprint” followed by “Vedanti Shinde - gold medal for long jump” on the PA system in high school is what saved me. Is it surprising that I was a jock? I had the air about me too - I bunked classes claiming we had a sports meeting, became the uncontested Sports Captain, wore my hair short and challenged every guy to a race. She’s a tomboy, they said. But now that my name echoed in the halls of my school and everyone knew who I was, I had absolutely no problem with my name. It stood out, like I did.
But why Vedi?
I don’t like the answer to this question, it’s not a good look on me. But it’s the truth.
In college, surrounded by other Marathi-speaking folk, I was barraged with “you know Vedi means crazy right?” Ugh, yes I know dumdums. I briefly had a youtube channel and went as far as to call it Vedi Vakdi (crazy and crooked). But reclaiming a word was an alien concept to me, and eventually explaining myself felt like a chore.
When I moved to Berlin in 2018, I realised I had the chance to reinvent myself. I could be anyone and no one knew my language. So I was Vedi. Also because, unfortunately, I wanted to make it convenient for the white people that couldn’t pronounce my name the way it was supposed to be. My friends tried however, and with some practice they succeeded too! And I appreciated them for it. It took me a while to realise that saying my name the correct way is the least they could do. I was learning their language, culture and special alphabets like Ä, ö, ü and ß for them. I even spent hours twisting my tongue, elongating my lips, curling my mouth and all they had to do is pronounce the ‘d’ in my name softly by touching the tongue to the front teeth.
It was also a great name to anchor my identity as I waddled in the ocean of exploration. I’d have to be a little crazy after all, to throw myself into this trifecta of sexual orientation, gender fluidity and relationship non-monogamy. Just a little Vedi, just a little Vakdi. I joked that Vakdi was perfect because it was also applicable to a winding road, and I was after all ‘not straight’.
A lot of people thought I was Italian because of my name. I didn’t know why, only that the word existed in Italian. On my notes thread recently, I got my answer:
Your name, Vedi, is interesting because it means “you see” or “you watch” it in Italian. So, in some way, your name is an invitation to see art and beautiful things. Your destiny is to show others the beauty of this world.
I like this interpretation - and that my chosen version of my name has meaning in other languages too.
Where do we stand now?
Vedi is me. I’ve consistently showed myself that I’m a bit wild, a bit crazy, a bit spontaneous in the best ways possible. When I started teaching myself digital art, I started signing them as वेडी (Devnagri script for Vedi). I launched a small Instagram page and art brand, I called it Ubad Khaabad by वेडी. It’s thematic you see - ubad khaabad are the topsy turvy roads of Mumbai and Life, full of potholes, unexpected turns and too many traffic lights. I’m just along for the ride - observing, writing and sketching as I go. Growth is not linear after all - it’s ubad khaabad.
New name for the newsletter!
After racking our brains a little bit, Josh and I came up with some fun alternatives. This is what I settled on: Little Life Lines. I’m not sure it needs explaining but we love the pun - it’s the lines you are reading in my newsletter but also the ones I draw in my little sketchbook. Both have been my lifelines. Art came to me at a very tumultuous time in my life, and I started my newsletter to bring myself some sanity. Besides, it only seems fair that this space has a name too! This little corner of my life, even if digital, must not go unnamed or untitled.
World Postcard & Post Day are coming!
and I’m hosting a Postcard Swap with
on Instagram, and we’d love it if you participated!Additionally, I’m also sending out postcards to whoever would want one! No compulsion to send one back! But of course, I’d love it if you did.
That’s all for today folks!
Planning a trip to the post office soon,
Vedi
I have know the struggles of coming to accept your name, and the different names you've had in your life and the place they hold. For the record, Vedi is a pretty cool name. I have a cousin called Veda, her name is Vedanta, and I thought of her when I read this. Also, the postcard thing is awesome! :)
As some who knows saves your contact as "Veda Di" in my phone📱, I found it interesting that how destiny & the fam has given the perfect name for my courageous yet crazy elder sis! Just don't reveal what Josh saves your name as in his phone 😂