I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing in the world more powerful than a confident woman. Not a mean woman, not a bossy one, not an aggressive one. Not the kind that needs to be strong, firm or brave. This woman is the kind that has probably coloured her hair red or blue or pink, is wearing a comfortable outfit (probably without a bra) and knows her place in the world. This woman has music in her ears that she unknowingly struts to, and knows the route to her destination without hesitation. I saw one such woman at the Mumbai metro on a Tuesday evening, and I could tell that she was walking the walk - you know the walk right? The one where she’s following the yellow brick road of her mind’s eye (except this one is probably covered in glitter) and her hair is flowing behind her in Bollywood slo-mo - in that moment, she’s indestructible.
I’m glad she was heading where I needed to go. I’m sure there was a subtle magnetic pull of her aura - my brain shut off and my feet followed in her footsteps. As I caught my train, I wondered how many infinite women in the bustle of Bombay were her. And how many times had I been her? Unbothered, untethered, truly myself.Many times, if I’m being true to myself - without being pompous. I was truly myself in school when I had a “boy cut”, and was a sports captain and jock that loved reading. I was truly myself in college when I had an undercut, rode a bike, and went on rides and treks with my then-boyfriend. I was truly myself in Berlin when I discovered thrift stores, Birkenstocks, and picnics in lakes and forests. I was myself after I moved back to Mumbai, tried to make new friends, and found love at a house party.
Arguably, that’s how I found love. I was unbothered, untethered and truly myself you see? No pretences, no need for validation. No second guessing. I heard this song by a new artist I discovered - incidentally it was as I was driving a fully loaded car towards the new home Josh and I had decided to build together.
There are two types of people in a relationship - one that listens to the music and one that listens to the lyrics. Josh, the musician is the first kind. I’m a poet and so naturally, I wondered about the effect the chorus had on me.
I wanna be easy to love,
I wanna love easily
I don’t like the first line, I love the second line. I don’t think it’s possible for women who are truly themselves also to be easy to love. A woman’s identity tends to be so dependent and entwined with her relationships - mother, sister, wife and such. A woman who’s unbothered is also anomalous - we tend to be uncomfortable in most spaces for most spaces aren’t solely ours to claim. And so a woman like her isn’t easy to love. I wasn’t. But I wanted to love easily - the wind in my hair, the shoes on my feet, the jewellery on my body, the tattoos that adorn it, the people I am surrounded by, the amazing Indian food on every corner. Everything.
Lucky for me, Josh loves easily, and in my experience - wholeheartedly. So here we are, not being easy to love but loving easily. How have you experienced love recently?
Wearing my heart on my sleeve,
Vedi
This is my favourite one so far, this is art.
Made me tear up a bit ❤️